Things That Go Bump
Joan Stephens
Catherine flew through the air to land in a heap on the bedroom floor. Thank goodness the carpeting was thick and soft. Wide awake, she yelped, "Vincent, why did you do that?"
One of the bedside lamps clicked on and the sleep-tousled head of her love appeared at the edge of the bed. "Do what, my love?" he oh-so-innocently inquired.
"Boot me out of bed, that’s what," she retorted.
"Turn about is fair play." The innocent look turned to one of contained glee. She had no idea of what she had done in her sleep.
"Turn about is . . . What are you talking about?" Noticing the intensely interested stare directed at the nether region of her body, she rearranged her nightgown with as much dignity as she could muster.
Raising his eyes to her smouldering green orbs, he hastened to educate her. "Innocently and deeply asleep, I was rudely awakened by someone’s rear portion of their anatomy butting and battering me, trying to push me out of bed."
"Me?" she squeaked, climbing to her feet and quickly straightening her satin nightie over her smooth thighs.
Solemnly but with a gleam in his eyes, he nodded and proceeded, "Just as you were about to butt me once again, I met force with force, and you are the recipient of that effort." Suddenly contrite and solicitous that she might be hurt, he asked, "Are you all right? You’re not hurt? I’m afraid that I unconsciously used more force than I intended."
Shaking her head, she started to laugh. "Oh Vincent, I was dreaming that there was a strange man in my bed." Her eyes dancing merrily, she had to stop to contain her giggles. "I was trying my darndest to get him out of my bed."
"There is a strange man in your bed, my dear," he replied as he rolled onto his back to be able to see her clearly. Grinning smugly at her, he laced his fingers together behind his head. "And just what are you going to do about it?" he charged.
"This!" she cried and threw herself on top of him, gaily kissing him. Their hilarity soon turned to more serious matters, and they loved each other vigorously and thoroughly, falling at last into an exhausted, relaxed sleep with no more bumps in the night.
Fini