Tina Cramer & Dawn Yzaguirre
(An episode expansion of "The Outsiders")
This story is mostly about the healing power of love and how it can heal the soul. Vincent and Catherine share an all-encompassing love. As we know, for them, there can be no other way.
This story picks up immediately following the last scene of “The Outsiders”. The story attempts to examine what might have happened if Vincent had his breakdown immediately after the outsiders threaten to destroy the World below.
We both thought that Catherine didn’t fight hard enough to make Vincent see that what he did was necessary in this episode. Vincent obviously believes his dark side is responsible for the undeniable rage that leads to the demise of the vagrants that tried to infiltrate the tunnel world. And no amount of convincing on Catherine’s part at the end of the episode seems to break through his defenses.
We thought it might be interesting to write a story about Vincent facing his inner demons with Catherine’s intervention, of course. This is what we came up with.
Tina and Dawn
All about the chamber there was silence. Father had finished dressing Vincent's wound. As he made his way up the stairs, his eyes wearily met Catherine's and he looked up hopefully into those green eyes and prayed for the healing salvation that only she could give.
For although Father could heal Vincent's external injuries, only Catherine's love could heal Vincent's tortured soul.
Father had left Vincent's
chamber and now there was only more silence between them.
"Talk to me, Vincent."
"Nothing to say."
"What you did was necessary. Let me share your pain."
"How can you even look at me?"
"Because I know you. I know who you are."
"You don't know me."
"Vincent, there are dark places in all of us."
"Yes, but part of me feeds in that darkness and I am lost in it. Leave me now.....please!"
"I love you."
“That night she truly walked alone. And deep within me I felt the cold and terrible truth of all that kept us apart. Fate had left me adrift with no wind to carry me to the safe shores of her love.”
Catherine walked slowly from Vincent's chamber back to the threshold of her apartment building. And with every step she took, she could feel through their bond the pain in his heart threatening to destroy him. By the time she reached the threshold to her world above, she was in tears.
Days and nights slowly passed. Each day moving into the other. Day became night and night became day. Every night Catherine waited on her balcony and every night Vincent did not come.
It had been six days since she had seen him last. She had sent him letters via various helpers but Vincent did not reply. Father had kept her informed of Vincent's physical condition but Father was more concerned about the emotional trauma Vincent was suffering. Vincent's arm was healing but the emotional scars of that night still haunted him. Within a few days after the attack, he began having these nightmarish fever dreams and would wake up in a cold sweat calling out Catherine's name.
Father informed Catherine of these dreams but he thought it best that Catherine stay away and that in time the dreams would end. But as time passed, Vincent seemed to be getting worse instead of better. Catherine decided the time had come to put a voice to those fears that haunted him and threatened to consume their love, their dream. Catherine reasoned they could face anything together. For a house divided against itself simply will not stand. And this time, Catherine vowed, she simply would not leave no matter what the cost.
Catherine made her way down into the Home Tunnels. She had left a message on the pipes for Father. She entered Father's Chamber.
"Catherine...dear Catherine. I'm glad you received my message. The dreams seem to be getting worse."
"I came as quickly as I could. How is he, Father?"
"It's not good, Catherine. The nightmares are becoming more intense. He's been slipping in and out of consciousness. I've given him a sedative to help him rest more comfortably. He's been asking for you."
"I must see him."
They entered Vincent's chamber. Vincent was lying in his bed visibly shaking and shivering. His eyes were closed. Mary was with him and was applying cold compresses to his forehead. Mary immediately relinquished her seat and allowed Catherine to apply the compresses.
"How is he?" Father asked Mary.
"There has been no change in his condition, Father."
"Vincent…it's me. It’s Catherine. I'm here with you now."
"Sshhhh, it will be all right. Close your eyes and rest."
"But...but...you must leave… hurt you."
Catherine glanced up at Father.
"How long has he been like this?"
"Since last night."
"Do you think it will pass soon?"
"I don't know Catherine. I honestly don't know. Vincent's chemistry is so different from ours. It may take hours or days."
"Well, I'm staying right here until he is well.”
“But Catherine what about your job…your life above.
“All of that is unimportant. Vincent is the most important thing in my life. He is everything to me, Father.”
“I’ll write a letter to Joe and tell him I’m taking a temporary leave of absence.
One of the helpers can deliver the message to my office. I’m not going anywhere. Vincent needs me here and here is where I’ll stay until he is well again.”
“I understand. I'll have Kipper bring a cot for you."
"Catherine…just try not to expect too much too soon.” Father touches her shoulder.
Catherine looked up as Father nodded. A look of understanding passed between them and then Father and Mary left Vincent’s chamber.
Catherine and Vincent were alone.
Catherine lovingly brushed back his long bangs away from his forehead and caressed his face.
"Stay with me, Vincent. Stay with me. I love you."
Chapter 2 – The Next Morning
Catherine groggily awakened to the subtle sound of subway trains in the distance. During the night, Vincent again had one of his nightmarish fever dreams. It seemed only Catherine’s voice could calm him.
She’d given up on trying to sleep on the cot Father had provided for her in Vincent’s chamber. Between wiping his forehead and holding his hand, she’d didn’t have much of an opportunity to use the cot anyway.
At some point during the night, she decided to just lie down next to Vincent. It seemed as though Vincent sensed her nearness even in his semi-comatose state. At one point, she woke to check on him only to find him holding her close to him.
How could he even have doubted her love for him. She started second guessing herself yet again. On the night when the outsiders invaded Vincent’s world and Vincent once again had to protect her and his world from harm, why had she backed down????
I should have never left him that night she thought. I should have stayed my ground and we should have confronted his fears together.
Her thoughts were interrupted as Father walked into Vincent’s chamber.
“How is he this morning, my dear?”
“About the same, Father. He had that same dream again last night. It always ends the same way with him calling my name. What is happening to him? Why can’t I reach him? Why won’t he wake up?”
“Catherine, I wish I knew. There are no easy answers. But I do know this….love can heal many things. The power of your love will lead you.”
“Thank you, Father.”
Chapter 3 - Later That Evening
Catherine lie beside Vincent watching him thrash around. “Oh my love, what are you seeing?” Catherine whispered as she held him tightly.
Vincent’s Dream Sequence:
Vincent could see it all in his dream. Catherine had disappeared. He could not find her anywhere and the scariest part was that the bond was now gone. Vincent searched nightly for her. He would walk the streets looking everywhere calling out for her with his mind and his heart. Then one night as he lie in bed he suddenly felt something. He rose quickly and ran from the chamber. He followed the feeling and then he found himself at a building above. He knew that Catherine was there and he was going to rescue her. He made his way inside the building and was quickly met by several armed guards. After disposing of them, he continued to search for Catherine.
While this was going on, a very pregnant Catherine was in full labor. She was taken into a delivery room where she delivered a beautiful baby boy. But shortly after his birth the man who had kidnapped her took her son from her. Then the doctor who delivered him injected Catherine with something. “You won’t suffer.” He told her as he turned and left her alone in the room. Catherine lie there alone going in and out of consciousness. Then she knew that Vincent was there. She knew that she was dying and wanted to see him. She dragged herself off the table and followed the sound of his roars to the roof of the building. There she saw Vincent for the first time in months.
“Vincent.” She whispered. He quickly turned around and caught her as she collapsed. “Catherine?” He cried. “Vincent, we loved.” She began as her breathing slowed. “There is a child.” She continued. Vincent looked at her shocked. “A child?” He asked. She smiled slightly. “He is beautiful.” She breathed. “Though lovers be lost.” She recited. “Love shall not.” He answered through his tears. But before she could answer Catherine died in his arms. “And death shall have no dominion.” He finished as he pulled her against his chest. Then he cried out in anguish.
Suddenly, Vincent cried out in agony. He awoke from his dream. “Catherine!!!!!” She sat up beside him. “Please wake up, my love. I’m here.” She cried. Then she felt as if someone were watching her. She looked down at Vincent to see him staring at her. “Catherine?” He asked confused. “Yes, my love, I am here.” she whispered. “It was a dream?” He asked as his tears began to fall. Then he pulled Catherine down and held her tightly against his chest.
Once he was calm again Catherine rose up and looked at him. “Vincent, please tell me about your dream.” She pleaded. “Catherine, it was horrible. You can never know how painful it was.” He sobbed. “Vincent, you need to share this dream with me.” She told him. Vincent looked up at her sadly. “Catherine, there are some things that I cannot share with you.” He stated sadly. Catherine shook her head. “No Vincent, whatever it is…you can tell me.” He shook his head. “No Catherine. I cannot share this with you.” He whispered. She suddenly rose from the bed. Vincent sat up and tried to stop her but she got to her feet before he could. She paced the chamber floor then angrily turned around. “Vincent, you have closed me out for the last time!” She exclaimed.. Then she picked up a book off the desk and threw it across the floor. Vincent looked at her shocked for a moment. Then he rose and picked the book up off the floor. He was about to put it on the table when he noticed the title of the poem on the page where it had opened. And Death Shall Have No Dominion by Dylan Thomas. Vincent turned and stared at Catherine and then he began to sob uncontrollably. Stunned, Catherine then walked over and took the book from the table. She looked down at the page that had fallen opened and gasped as she read the poem. “You dreamed that I died.” She cried. She put the book back down and looked up at him. “Is that what it was Vincent?” She asked pleadingly. He looked up at her through his tears and nodded. “Catherine, if I had lost you I would have followed you into death.” He cried. This truly frightened her. She reached for him and pulled him against her chest. She stroked his head as he cried in her arms.
When he was calmer, he moved back and looked down at her. “Catherine, now do you understand why I must protect you from everything including myself?” He told her sadly. Catherine knew that the outsiders were to blame.
“Talk to me, Vincent.
“Catherine, I want to share a life with you. I want to share everything with you because I love you so much.” He declared. Finally, he had said the words she had waited to hear for such a long time. Catherine was in shock. “Vincent, I love you too and with love all things are possible.” She told him as she stroked his soft, downy cheek. Vincent sighed. “Catherine, this is all so new to me. I never felt that I deserved your love.” He whispered. Catherine smiled lovingly at him. “Vincent, you do deserve my love. You have always given me everything and now I want to give you everything I have to give and that includes myself.” She told him. Then Vincent moved away from her. “Look at me Catherine. Really, look at me!” Don’t you see the beast that lives inside of me? I can never love you the way you wish…the way you deserve to be loved.” Then he turned to look at her. “Catherine, I feel so unworthy of your love especially after what I did to those men and that woman. I killed them with my bare hands.” He was almost crying again. Catherine shook her head. “But Vincent, what you did was necessary. You know that it was. Why do you continue to blame yourself for something that you had no control over?” She asked. She then moved toward him and put her hand over his heart. “Vincent, these vagrants would have destroyed your world.” Vincent sighed sadly. “Catherine, you just don’t understand the darkness inside me. This darkness…it frightens me so that I cannot control the fear.” He stated. “Vincent, that may be true but it is a part of you. Everyone has dark places inside their souls. Why can’t you believe me?” She asked pleadingly.
“Catherine, I desperately want to believe you but you have seen what I have done and that is not like anyone else.” He commented. “Other people would have had more control of their actions.” He added. “Vincent, what I have seen is a man who protects the ones he loves and there is no shame in that.” Then Vincent began to move away from her again. “But Catherine I am not a man. I am a beast.” He argued. Catherine moved to touch him once again. “Vincent, to me you are human. You are the man that I love.” Then she quietly spoke again. “I see a man who is kind, gentle, giving, and loving to his friends and neighbors.” She continued. “A man who cares deeply about the people that he loves.”
Vincent suddenly turned and stared at her. “What you see are illusions, Catherine.” He commented. “Then what should I see, Vincent? Tell me what to believe when my heart knows the truth. The truth is what we make it. It’s all about who we are. Our truth together. I know you in the deepest part of who I am. I’ve always known you. Those dark places exist in all of us. Let me help you find your way out of the darkness, Vincent.”
Vincent sighed and shook his head. “Catherine, please.”
“No Vincent. I will not listen… not anymore. I will not sit here and allow you to destroy us and destroy our dream. I told you that what you did was necessary. If you feel responsible, then all of us as a community share in that responsibility.”
“But I’ve always been there to protect them...all of them. To do whatever was needed to keep them safe…to keep you safe.” He was crying now. His tears were falling freely. “If they had hurt you…” Vincent let the remaining words slip away as the tears ran down his face.
Catherine took his face between her hands and wiped away his tears. “But they didn’t, Vincent. You saved me. You saved all of us.”
Suddenly, Vincent fell to his knees. “Please forgive me Catherine.” He begged. Catherine cradled his head against her waist and kissed his forehead.
“Oh, Vincent, there is nothing to forgive. Please let me in. Please share your pain with me. I need you so much. I need to feel you deep inside me and inside my soul. On that night, when you sent me away, you closed our bond. I’ve never felt more alone than I did that night. Please don’t send me away again.”
“I want to share everything with you. We can be everything to each other but you have to let me in. You have to promise me that you will try.”
Vincent looked up at her. He could see the pleading in her eyes. He gently pulled her down to her knees before him. “I cannot promise you that this will be easy for me to do. But I do promise to try to let you in because I need you Catherine.” He whispered softly. “I too want to share things with you. I need you.” He continued. Then he gently took her face between his hands and kissed her.
It felt so good to be in his arms again and to feel his warm mouth surrounding hers. Catherine was almost left breathless by the joy she felt pulsating through their bond. How could he ever have doubted that his kisses would bring her anything but happiness? All too soon he released her. The need for air was too great. Catherine knew this would be a moment that she would treasure forever. She knew that their happy life had just begun.