When I See You Smile

Chapter One

Wayne Kelley

Catherine was awakened by the sound of Jacob fussing in his crib. She carefully pushed the blankets off enough to roll away from Vincent's still-sleeping form and swing her legs over the edge of the bed as she sat up. Toeing into her slippers, she rose and walked over to the crib to check on her son.

Jacob was lying on his back, looking up at her with a pained expression as he chewed on the fingers of his right hand. He had just turned one at Christmas and was teething again, having acquired a couple of front teeth around Thanksgiving. She turned to the table next to the crib and picked up a tube of desensitizing medicine, noting that it was nearly breakfast-time according to the clock perched there. She squeezed a dose of the medicinal gel onto her finger, and rubbed it onto his sore gums after removing his hand from his mouth. After capping the tube, she crossed to the foot of the bed and donned her heavy flannel robe.

Vincent stirred just then, looking over his shoulder to where she stood, rubbing at her eyes. "Good morning," he greeted her, still sounding a little sleepy. "Did Jacob wake you?"

"Mmm-hmm," she replied, following with a long yawn. She blinked her eyes and tried to stretch them a little farther open in an attempt to reach full wakefulness. "His teeth were bothering him again," she explained.

Vincent rolled onto his back to make looking at Catherine less of a strain. "Perhaps we should consult with Peter," he suggested.

Catherine smiled. Vincent was the most attentive father on the planet, in all likelihood; sometimes he worried too much. "I really don't think that'll be necessary," she assured him. "This is completely normal for a child Jacob's age."

Vincent recognized the patient tone of Catherine's voice, and sensed her amusement with him through the bond. "And when, exactly, did you become an expert on child-rearing?" he asked her in mild derision.

"I don't have to be an expert," she shot back, comically arrogant. "I have a whole community full of experts to tell me what to do and how to do it."

Vincent chuckled at Catherine's veiled reference to the constant stream of 'input' they received about Jacob's well-being. Everyone from the smaller children to their oldest residents had their opinions and advice, and offered it, whether they were asked or not. "Well, I've heard that it takes a village to raise a child," he retorted.

Catherine was grinning now. "Yeah, well, this village better remember who the parents are here," she said, "because my son is not community property." She walked to the edge of the bed and plopped back down as her husband's arm encircled her waist. Leaning down, she brought her lips to his, indulging in a long, slow, luxurious kiss. "Good morning," she purred when their lips parted.

"Mmmm," he purred back, "it certainly is." He pushed himself up to a sitting position, pulled her to him by the shoulders, and started another long kiss.

Catherine pulled back, however. "Dearheart," she chided him gently, "it's after eight, and if we don't get to the dining hall, breakfast will be long gone."

"Don't care," Vincent mumbled as his lips closed on hers again.

Catherine let herself be drawn into his sensual attentions for a few moments. They'd been married for over a year, and parents for almost as long, but could still go back to acting like they were on their wedding night at the drop of a hat. Not that she would complain; after the struggles they'd weathered to reach this point, she had no plans to discourage her husband's advances if at all possible. But day-to-day life was not going to run itself; they were still a part of the community, and parents, and there was 'stuff to do'.

She finally pushed him away playfully and got up off the bed again. "C'mon, you hormone fiend, get dressed. We've got Winterfest preparations to attend to, and you know how Father is about 'preparedness'."

Vincent pushed back the blankets some more and swung himself up to sit on the edge of the bed where she'd been a moment ago. He stood up and stretched, as a yawn of his own escaped. Clad in a pair of silk boxer briefs she'd purchased for him as an anniversary gift, and flexing his massive, muscular frame, he sent Catherine's insides into a tizzy. In mid-stretch, he stopped and shot her a glance that said 'I know what you're thinking...', and she blushed in spite of herself. Then, he gifted her with a grin that actually showed his canines, and went to the wardrobe to collect his clothes.

Twenty minutes later, all three of them were dressed, and making their way down to the dining hall for the breakfast meal. The children who were old enough to have school or chores had mostly eaten and cleared out by the time they arrived, and only adults shared the head table with Father, where their places were reserved for meals. Kipper and Samantha had plates and food in front of them before they'd finished greeting everyone at the table.

Catherine set to work feeding Jacob some oatmeal, flavored with maple syrup, while Father and Vincent began discussing preparations for the community's celebration in a week's time. Jacob was making fine progress, and enjoying attention from Mary, Olivia, and Lena. He began rocking back and forth in his high chair, babbling more and more animatedly. As Catherine brought a spoonful of oatmeal up to his face, he flung his arms upward with a happy squeal, and wet oatmeal exploded onto Catherine, Vincent, Jacob, and several of the others. There was an instant of shocked silence, until the baby broke into a smile that showed his three front teeth. Everyone erupted into laughter, and began dabbing at the flotsam with napkins. Jacob finished the rest of his breakfast peacefully, and the day's agenda was comfortably in hand by the time Catherine was done with her plateful.

She kissed Vincent goodbye, and took Jacob to the nursery, to join the other toddlers under Mary's watchful eye. As she set him down inside the enclosed play area, she thought back to the pictures she'd seen of herself as a baby, in several humorous situations. Her dad had treasured every one of them, no matter how embarrassing, and refused to throw them out, no matter what Catherine had threatened over the years. Now they were part of the collection of things she'd moved Below last year, although, like a lot of other items, they'd not yet been unpacked. Jacob's smile is so cute, she thought, and so is Vincent's, when he loosens up enough to show it. We need to have pictures of that, before we miss the chance altogether.

She left the nursery, assuring Mary that she would be back in time for lunch, and made her way back to her chamber. Vincent was teaching a couple of classes to the older children this morning, so she had the place all to herself for now. She began moving about, going through the automatic routine of tidying things up, putting them in their proper places, but her mind kept coming back to the idea of pictures.

She stopped for a moment and studied the painting of herself and Vincent, which hung proudly on one wall of the room. Kristopher had done a beautiful job of capturing the two of them, in essence and in image. But there are so many other sides of Vincent, so many other moments I'd love to capture and keep, she mused. But the idea of photographs brought with it so many bad memories - the Watcher, Spirko, even the Guardians who'd seen Vincent on her balcony so long ago. They could never take the chance of an image of him falling into the wrong hands. Well, she decided, turning back to the room, there's no point in pouting about it. She finished straightening up the room, then left to go and help Rebecca put the finishing touches on the candle deliveries for Winterfest.

***

Vincent had spent the morning with the older children, covering mathematics and literature for their school studies, and settled them to complete some book exercises until lunch. For the last half-hour of the morning, he sat with Mouse away from the others, and helped him with his reading and comprehension. Mouse was working his way through high school level material, after many years of study with Vincent, so that he could decipher the stash of mechanical and technical books in his workshop.

Today, though, he seemed to be completely unable to muster any focus. The problem had been growing progressively worse over the last couple of weeks, and any inquiries from Vincent as to the cause was met with a guilty "Sorry...try harder...promise" from the younger man. Now, he was stumbling over material they'd covered only yesterday, and Vincent finally called a halt.

"Mouse, I don't think we're going to get anywhere with this today," he pointed out. "Why don't you tell me what's distracting you, and we'll see if we can do something about it."

Mouse turned his eyes upward to look into Vincent's, without un-hunching from over his book. His expression clouded over, and it was obvious that he was debating something in his mind. His brow furrowed, and his mouth began to move soundlessly. Vincent could sense the coil of tension tightening in his friend's heart.

Finally, he blurted out, quietly, "Can't do anything about Jamie..."

Instantly, the name caused several pieces of this puzzle to fall into place. Jamie had completed enough studies over the summer to go Above and take a GED test. To her own amazement, she'd passed easily, and so gained the opportunity to explore options outside of the Tunnel community for her future. Using a Helper's address to present herself as a resident of the city, she had applied for aid, and begun taking some college courses at NYU. After overcoming her initial distrust of strangers, she had also made several new friends at school, and even started socializing with them occasionally. She was truly enjoying this new phase of her life.

Mouse, on the other hand, had found the whole transition alarming. At first, he worried about her constantly, and tried to follow her around the city. She'd been forced to tell him not to shadow her, and that she could take care of herself. He seemed to accept her less frequent appearances Below, and focused on his projects. But Vincent had seen the reaction when Jamie had come down after a party with her school friends, and Mouse had seen her in 'girl clothes'. Deep shock, blended with an amplified burst of the 'puppy love' he always held for her, was as close as Vincent could have described it.

And now, Winterfest was coming up. Jamie had spent most of the Christmas holiday Above, enjoying the festivities the city had to offer for the season. She'd promised to come to Winterfest, even though it was in the middle of the week, and she would have classes to attend. Mouse clearly didn't believe her, but this problem clearly went much deeper that just Winterfest.

"Mouse, Jamie promised she would be here..." Vincent began patiently.

"Jamie's never here," Mouse interrupted. "Always Topside..."

"She has her studies..." Vincent explained.

Mouse straightened in his chair, then leaned in close to Vincent, his expression full of desperation. "Vincent," he whispered, "when you love...you wanna be with...all the time, right?"

"Yes," he replied, sensing something different in the way Mouse said 'love'.

"Like you...and Catherine..." he continued, somewhat fearfully.

"Yes," Vincent answered again.

Mouse's face began to fill with anguish. "But Jamie isn't with Mouse..."

Vincent sighed, concerned at the depth of his friend's pain. "Mouse, just because Jamie is doing things Above doesn't mean that she doesn't want to be with you."

Mouse seemed to flinch at Vincent's attempted reassurance. Suddenly, his face hardened. "Doesn't matter..." he hissed bitterly. Mouse isn't normal." He elongated the last word for emphasis, like a child calling someone a nasty name.

Vincent's worry was suddenly overtaken by outrage. Someone's convinced him that he can't have a relationship because he's different! Vincent railed mentally. Years of hearing, and then believing the same thing about himself came welling up within him, and he had to struggle to stay focused on Mouse. "Who told you that?!" he whispered angrily to the younger man.

Mouse's eyes snapped up again, brimming with tears and fire. "Everyone!" he cried, heedless of the other kids' or anyone else's notice, and tore out of his chair and out of the room. Vincent was too stunned to move at first, realizing that his friend had included him in that single word of accusation. He turned to find the rest of his class staring at him in bewilderment at the outburst they'd witnessed. He rose, ordered them back to their bookwork, and strode hurriedly out into the corridor. Not even echoing footfalls came to his ears, and he knew Mouse could make himself scarce for as long as he wished Below. He offered a silent prayer that the lad would calm down and return on his own shortly, but made a vow to help him overcome this problem, and apologize for not being more understanding.

***

Catherine met Vincent for lunch, and they discussed what had transpired with Mouse during the tutoring session. Father and others at the table were, of course, upset that he could have gotten such an impression about himself from people in the community, and promised to do everything possible to correct the problem. Only Catherine, however, was privy to what Mouse had expressed about Jamie.

"Well," she said as they were leaving the dining hall, "I could try and call her while I'm visiting Jenny."

Vincent asked her to do so, then kissed her lovingly when they stopped in a less-brightly lit juncture of tunnels. He finally pulled away, and headed to the supply chambers to head up the afternoon work crew for repairs. "Tell Jenny I said hello," he called as he walked away. Catherine walked back to the chamber, and proceeded to change into an outfit suitable for going Above.

It was great to have Jenny as a Helper now, as well as a friend. She and Vincent had decided to bring her into the community shortly after Catherine had discovered her pregnancy. Quitting her job and leaving her life Above behind had been necessary, and difficult. She told Vincent, and the Council, that she needed some connection to her former life, and that Jenny Aronsen had remained a staunch friend through many of the crises that had come up since the attack in the park, and not demanded explanations that Catherine could not have given. So, the Council had given them permission to make Jenny a Helper, so that she could be maid-of-honor at Catherine and Vincent's forthcoming nuptials.

The introductions had been remarkably smooth, all things considered. Catherine had invited Jenny to the apartment on the last night before the big move. Jenny had known at that point that Catherine had met someone special, and was now pregnant, and was moving to be with him, but no more. Over boxes of take-out Chinese food, she'd introduced her friend to her fiancé. Jenny was stunned speechless at first, but within an hour, and after asking dozens of questions, had come to accept and understand Vincent, and the special precautions that protected him. They'd given her the nickel tour of the Tunnels the same night, and she'd taken it well in stride after the introductions at the apartment. She was officially welcomed as a Helper, and a few months later, took part in the wedding ceremony in the Great Hall.

Now, Catherine was going Above, to personally deliver Jenny's Winterfest candle and invitation to her first celebration with the community. An access had been opened under Jenny's apartment building, just like the old threshold at Catherine's former apartment, and by 1:30, she was knocking on Jenny's door.

Jenny greeted her with hugs and invited her in to sit. Over coffee and crumbcake, Jenny dished all the latest news about folks in Cathy's old social circle, and what she'd picked up in the paper about Joe Maxwell's career since Moreno's conviction for protecting several high-level criminals. Catherine told her the latest about Jacob, and the community, and some girl-talk about Vincent.

Finally, Catherine took out the candle, gave it to Jenny, and explained the Winterfest celebration to her. Jenny found the whole idea very moving and exciting, and promised to be there early and stay late. Then she made what was supposed to sound like a very innocent inquiry.

"Will Devin be there?"

Catherine sat for a long moment, gauging her best friend's demeanor for clues. Jenny had met Devin for the first time at the wedding ceremony over a year ago, when he'd stood as best man for Vincent. He had, of course, turned on the charm, and been on his best behavior, and Jenny had found him entertaining enough to ask for a date. Devin, who normally didn't hang around town long when he visited, actually spent a week in the city, and took Jenny out a couple of times.

But Devin had gone, as usual, to some other part of the country to take care of some piece of business that he said was important. Surprisingly, though, he'd continued to call Jenny from time to time, ostensibly to have her pass news to Vincent and Catherine, despite there being other Helpers with greater contact Below. He also made it back into the city on a couple of occasions and always made a point of seeing Jenny, and going out together. Neither of them proclaimed their relationship to be more than just friends having a good time, and Jenny dated a few other guys in Devin's absences, but Catherine had suspected something more.

"I really don't know," she finally told Jenny. "In case you haven't noticed, he's kind of unpredictable."

"Yeah," Jenny agreed, in a tone of voice that indicated she didn't find that unpleasant. "I guess I shouldn't expect too much."

The fact that Jenny expected anything at all of Devin gave Catherine's suspicions new life. The way Jenny's spirits ran high whenever he was in town, and her lackluster responses to other men seemed to settle the matter. Catherine decided to get in touch with her brother-in-law, and try to make sure he was coming next week. In the meantime, she shared her own thoughts about baby pictures, or lack of them.

"I can see what you mean," Jenny nodded, after Cathy had filled her in on the problems of photographs. "Couldn't exactly drop them at the Fotomat, huh?" They both giggled for a moment at the image of some store clerk's face after seeing a picture of Vincent. "Of course, you don't have to go to a service to get pictures developed, you know."

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked. Every family photo or vacation picture Catherine had ever seen or taken had to be sent somewhere to be developed and printed.

Jenny blinked, then chuckled. "That's right, I forget you're Miss Ex-Debutante," she joked. "Kodak makes a camera and film that gives you finished pictures in about three minutes. It comes with a built-in flash and auto-focus, too; all you have to do is point it at someone and push a button."

"Oh, yeah!" Catherine exclaimed. She remembered seeing something like that being used at crime scenes while she worked for the DA. "I thought you had to pull some paper off of the pictures from those things, and make a huge mess."

"Not anymore," Jenny informed her. "The film comes in a cartridge, so you just snap it in and start shooting."

"That would be so perfect! We have to get together before the 12th and go buy one. Or maybe one for each of us?" she suggested, remembering Jenny's enthusiasm for picture-taking during their college adventures.

They agreed to meet and shop later in the week, and then Catherine used Jenny's phone to call Jamie at the home of the Helper where she was rooming while Above. She wound up leaving a message with the Helper, though, as Jamie was not there. Catherine asked her to tell Jamie to visit with Vincent and her at the first available chance she had, and hung up.

She wrapped up her visit with Jenny, collected her coat, and headed back Below. Between Jenny pining for Devin, and Mouse missing Jamie, there are going to be a lot of broken hearts at Winterfest this year if people don't show up, she realized.

***

Vincent returned from overseeing the repair crew for the afternoon just before dinner and went to the nursery to retrieve Jacob from his caregivers. All of the other toddlers had been picked up by the time he arrived, and Mary was alone, cooing over him in the play area.

"Other than the teething, he's been a doll baby today," she reported to him as he walked up. "You know, something cold and soft to chew on might be of help with that," she suggested.

Vincent chose not to mention that a dozen people had suggested something for Jacob's teething discomfort in just the last couple of days. "Catherine has some medicine that seems to work well," he replied.

Mary nodded. "Well, mother knows best, I suppose. How did the bridge repairs go?"

"Smoothly," Vincent answered as he hefted his son from the floor. "Now the residents in the north corridors won't have to detour around the Chasm to get to Winterfest."

"Well, that should make Father a little happier," she said with a nervous smile.

Vincent snorted at Mary's mild sarcasm. "He has been something of a grouch lately, hasn't he?"

Mary blanched slightly. "Oh, I didn't mean...well, he always gets that way about preparing for Winterfest, doesn't he?"

Vincent chuckled. "Mary, you, of all people, have the right to say when Father is being bossier than usual, and he has been. Even William is finding his attitude difficult to contend with."

"Well, maybe he has a right to be, under the circumstances," Mary replied defensively.

Vincent paused for a second, surprised by this uncharacteristic chastising from the woman who'd practically been a mother to him his entire life. "Circumstances?" he echoed cautiously.

Mary gave a small gasp, as though she'd spoken the word unawares. "Oh...well...I didn't mean to...oh, dear..."

Her reluctance to be forthcoming was beginning to cause Vincent to worry. "Mary," he entreated, "is something wrong with Father?"

She struggled inwardly with herself, just as Mouse had earlier, then let out a long sigh. "Oh, I suppose there's no point in keeping it from you. I can't bear keeping it to myself any longer. Vincent, Father has decided to step down from the Council, and appoint you its leader at Winterfest."

Vincent simply stood there, too shocked to do anything. The idea of the community without Father's leadership was simply unimaginable. His health was good, his mind was not failing, and he was respected above all else in their world; what could possibly have convinced him that he needed to step down?

"Mary," he queried, his voice faltering, "are you certain of this?"

"I think so," she answered, wringing her hands anxiously. "We were having tea a few nights ago in his chamber, and he began talking about how difficult it was to manage all of the responsibilities of the community, and he said that perhaps he should turn it over to you now."

Vincent relaxed slightly. "Mary, you and I both know that he talks about such things whenever he gets frustrated...he's done it for years now."

"Yes, I know, but this is different," Mary explained. "He said that now that you and Catherine are married and settled, you could take things over, and that Winterfest would be the time to tell everyone all at once." Her face was lined with worry as she added, "I really think he's serious about this, and I don't know what to do."

"Well, I say we go right to his chamber now, and talk to him about it immediately," Vincent suggested, turning to lead the way as he spoke.

But Mary grabbed his shoulder. "Oh, goodness, no, Vincent! He would be livid if he found out that I've told you this...he was speaking to me in confidence. And besides, what if this really is what he wants? Doesn't he deserve this, after everything he's done for our world?"

Of course, if he wants this, he should be able to step down, Vincent acknowledged. But he'd assumed that Father wouldn't choose to until he was unable to continue, and now, for the second time today, his assumptions about someone close to him were being shattered. Vincent shook his head. "You're right...It's just a bit puzzling..."

"Well, I'm worried, too, Vincent...I just want to make sure that he does what makes him happy."

Vincent was watching Mary's expression, and had his third assumption about his loved ones shattered before his eyes. She's not worried about the community, or me...she cares about Father...she's always cared about Father...she wants him to be happy, whatever he decides to do, because she loves him, he concluded. Her feelings for him were plainly written on her face for the first time Vincent could recall, because she didn't want him feeling old and useless.

"All right, Mary," he assured her, "I won't let on to Father that you've mentioned this to me, and I'll try to find out how serious he is about this, and why. I'm sure that he'll open up to me if I give him a chance to talk about it."

"Oh, thank you, Vincent," she sighed. "I've been absolutely beside myself trying to decide what to do...I didn't want to burden anyone."

"It's not a burden to help a friend," he replied sincerely. "Father is very lucky to have someone who cares so much for him."

Mary suddenly blushed to her silver roots with embarrassment. "Thank you, Vincent," she said, pulling him close enough to kiss him on the cheek before hurrying from the room. As he turned to make his way down to the dining hall where Catherine would be meeting them for dinner, he wondered if Father realized how much Mary felt for him.

***

Later that evening, after dinner and some conversation with several of the other adult residents of the central hub chambers, Catherine and Vincent retired to their chamber and shared some of the news of their day apart. Mouse had turned up for dinner, fortunately, but had collected a plateful of food and gone to his chamber instead of eating with the community. Many had heard about him running off earlier, but no one speculated openly about why.

Catherine related her visit with Jenny, omitting their plans to buy cameras for Winterfest. Vincent helped her locate her organizer, so that she could contact Devin on his pager the next time she went Above. Then Vincent related his conversation with Mary about Father. Catherine was somewhat surprised at Father's interest in stepping down from the leadership of the Council, but not at all by Mary's feelings for the man.

"Vincent, for someone who is empathic, you don't seem to be able to pick up on much from the people around you sometimes," she chided him playfully. "Mary has been in love with Father since long before we met, and I think he's afraid to admit his feelings for her. I suspect it runs in the family, if you and Devin are any indication."

Vincent favored her with a doleful look. "I only pick up your feelings, and Jacob's," he informed her soberly, "and I have no problems whatsoever expressing my feelings."

"Not anymore," Catherine corrected.

Vincent rose from his chair and came over to where she was, standing at Jacob's crib, and wrapped her in an embrace. "Well, get Jacob settled for the night, love, and I'll show you just exactly how I feel about you." He lowered his face to hers and gave her a long, deep kiss, then stepped away and began undressing for bed.

Catherine kissed her son, applied some teething medicine to his gums, doused all the candles in the room, and undressed herself. Climbing into bed by the light of the stained-glass window, she gave herself over to Vincent's loving attentions.

~